Don't Be a Sour-Patch Wife...

Have you ever eaten the candy in this picture? When I was young Sour Patch Kids were my favorite. They come in bright, amazing colors and, before I decided that candy wrecks tooth enamel, they got stuck between my teeth. They have a sour-tart type of powder on the outside of them, but once you bypass that, the actual candy part of gummy and sweet.
Best candy ever.
I remember when my husband and I were separated, I had the hardest time being around him without getting really upset. He would walk into a room all nonchalant, meanwhile I'm in the corner with my face all balled up, crying on the inside. I was a mess. I knew we weren't getting along but I loved him so much and it seemed like he was having a dandy time living it up without me.
I didn't know at the time, but the more I stewed over the bad things that were happening in my marriage, the angrier I got at my husband. And the longer I allowed myself to be angry, the stronger the bitterness that was brewing on the inside of me got.
I was a Sour Patch Kid without the sweet center.
Before I knew it, I couldn't even see his face in my head without getting mad. I found myself thinking about the things that went wrong in my marriage over and over and over. I ignored his phone calls and texts and didn't even acknowledge him if we were in the same room. I had gotten bitter.
And bitter is bad.

Ephesians 4:31

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander,

as well as all types of evil behavior."

 

You see that? Not only is bitterness right up there with rage and anger, but God insiders it "Evil behavior". I don't know about you, but I don't want to be associated with anything evil.

Think about it like this: You and your husbands have been together for quite some time. You have had disagreements, arguments, fights and altercations. You have been hurt and you have done some hurting. You have said that you have forgiven him, but every time he does something that you don't like, you begin to think about all of the things that he had done wrong.

But you don't just think about these things, you meditate on them. You think about them over and over and over until you have looked at the issue from every possible angle. You get mad at your husband, not for this most recent issue, but for all of the other issues that you have been through.

You are holding a grudge, and the anchor to that grudge is bitterness.

Proverbs 14:10 says that each heart knows it's own bitterness, and no one can joy in it. You cannot expect to enjoy your marriage or anything that comes along if bitterness is in your heart. Bitterness kills relationships because it blocks forgiveness.

Forgiveness frees your and your heart to love freely. We want to love our husbands and we want them to love us, so we have to forgive and keep forgiving. We cannot keep replaying bad times in our minds because we will begin to look for bad, and we will stay mad. I am a witness that, when those thoughts of past times pop into your head, giving them energy can do much harm to your relationship with your man. When they come, dismiss them. When they pop in, choose to forgive your husband right then and there and move on to something else. Don't get distracted by the foolish, but keep holding on and have faith that God will allow good times to begin to outweigh the bad.

Think about the Sour Patch Kids; at first, they will put a bad taste in your mouth. But if you stick with it, things get a lot sweeter.