The Talking Vase

Conflict resolution is very necessary to the topic of communication in marriage. I am not wishing you and your husband to have difficulty; I am merely stating a fact. Disagreements and conflicts will arise in your household. You and your husband are two different people with different mindsets and ideas, trying to coexist. Sure there will be disagreements! It’s only natural. So, please allow me to give you an idea that might make the resolution portion of the conflict a little easier.

      When I first got married, I went to visit a neighbor of mine that had been married for quite some time. At the time, my husband and I were having quite a few problems. While I was there for a totally different reason, she and I began to talk about a few of the issues that my husband and I were having. She told me that, when she and her husband first got married, someone gave her a beautiful glass vase as a wedding gift. Along with the vase was a card with instructions on it, and it read:

“Your husband will do things that get on your nerves,

And you will do things to bother him as well.

Place this beautiful vase in a central location. 

Instead of wasting time being upset and arguing about these issues,

write them down on a slip of paper and place them in it.

 When the time is right, sit together and talk about what’s on the slip of paper.

This will remind you that, even in a vase as beautiful as this, ugly things can dwell.

When you've  dealt with the ugly,

the vase can return to its state of beauty”



When she and her husband had a disagreement, or one did something that the other didn't like, they were to write their grievance down on a slip of paper and put it in the vase. At the end of the day, they would openly and honestly discuss the issue and find some resolution before the end of the day. Even if it took a while to actually get to the vase, they would always know that there was an issue, and would deal with it accordingly.
They let the vase do the talking.
Ephesians 4:26-27

“And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’

Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry,

For anger gives a foothold to the devil.”

      Every conflict has some form of a resolution. Arguing and fighting only makes things worse, because you have added stress to the mix. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t need to give the devil a foothold to anything in my life. Unresolved anger issues are like a ticking time-bomb. You may not know when things are about to blow up. Issues that haven’t been addressed leads to bitterness, and that is like a weed; the roots grow long and strong and pop up everywhere. The scripture says not to let the sun go down on your anger. You have to let things go. Even if there is no closure to the situation at the time, staying mad won’t solve anything.

      It doesn’t matter if it’s a vase, a coffee mug, a mason jar or a paper cup; just write it down, and find some way to discuss it. Blowing off issues and letting things that are important to you fall by the wayside will only make them magnify in time. The Talking Vase is just a suggestion. Find your own way to do it, but just make sure that it gets done.