Deal With Your Crazy (#WifeWorthy Diaries)

We live in a time in which everything that we think we might need to improve as a woman is available on an app. Weight loss apps, inspirational message apps, employment tip apps, dating apps… There’s an app for everything these days.

Seriously. Whatever you can think, I guarantee there is an app for it.

Anyway, there are tons of things available to assist in self-development these days.as well. No longer are you left to cruising through book stores in full disguise to pick up the latest edition of “Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus”, only to rush home and read it, highlighters in hand. There are also a bunch of internet-verified life coaches that are ready and willing to take your twelve monthly payments of $19.95 in order to help you “find yourself”.

But I digress…

I am neither a life coach nor a relationship guru, but there is a helpful tip that I can give you on becoming a better single you before you become a married you. It’s more difficult to find out who you are BEFORE you make the decision to live your “for better or worse” with someone else. While you are living your #WifeWorthy life, you have the time and space to become the best you that you can be so that when your husband does find you, you will be an enhancement and not an albatross. So let me give you these four small but very important words. Ready?

Deal. With. Your. Crazy.

I can drop the microphone and walk off the stage Coming to America style right now, but I’m going to give you a little more of an explanation first.

Mark 5:33

“Then the frightened woman,trembling at the realization of what happened to her,
came and fell to her knees in front of His
and told Him what she had done.”

If you have been graced enough to reach the age of twenty-one, you my dear, are old enough to have been through some things. And if you are my age, which is a few beats past thirty, you quite possibly have survived quite a bit. I’ve seen heartbreak, sickness, childbirth, more heartbreak and I’m currently in the midst of surviving raising a teenager.

Yikes!

But as a lady, you should be approaching an age where you start to reflect on the things that you have lived through, and can see how those things have shaped you into the woman you are now. Some of the storms that I have weathered have left a lasting impression. Not too long after I turned thirty, my integrity became just as important to me as my appearance. I had to calculate all of the abuse, the heartbreak, the low self-esteem, the financial burdens, the child rearing and everything else my eyes have seen and my heart has felt. I had to ask myself: “Is this really me? Or am I a product of what I’ve been through?”

Not an easy question to answer.

Everybody had crazy, boo. I'm sorry if I'm the one to have to tell you this but you have some crazy, your mom had some, as well as your grandma, aunts, cousins, sisters and friends. Some people cover it up better than others. We might be walking around mumbling and scratching yourselves (no shade), but every female that you have come in contact with has had a measure of crazy, whether they have accepted it or are in denial about it.  I was crazy! I had allowed the heartbreak I had seen make me bitter, the hardship make me angry and the combination of loneliness and depression make me fake. I was walking around with a smiling mask on, doing a bang up job of convincing those around me that I was doing great, while I was a ticking time bomb underneath. It wasn’t a pretty picture.

But I had to get to the point where my life was more important than my crazy.

The truth is, you can’t be in a successful relationship of any kind unless you dedicate some time to dealing with your crazy. You may be living a life full of tragedy, or your life may be all sunshine and roses. But at some point, you must address the crazy that you have let seep in somewhere during the course of your past so it won’t ruin your future.

If you are planning on getting married, let me share a little secret with you: Marriage will expose all of your crazy; even the crazy you didn’t know you had. Your husband will be a life-sized mirror, exposing every wrinkle and roll. He will point out your bad habits, your good habits, your buttons and the invisible zippers you were trying to hide. He will make you see yourself the way others see you, which is not always the easiest pill to swallow.

As you move forward from WifeWorthy to WifeStyle, ask God to reveal to you what crazy you might have left. Let Him expose it, address it, deal with it and heal you of it. That’s the only way it can be handled correctly and you can move on.  If you don’t, your mask won’t be able to hide everything that’s underneath, and you don’t want all your crazy showing.

Not a good look….