Lipstick & Slop, Pt. 1 (#WifeWorthy Diaries)

 

Those two words don’t really go together, do they? But stay with me and hopefully I can make things a little more plain for you. When you get all dressed and decide to put your face on: apply the foundation, get your eyes blended just right, get those eyebrows in order. When your outfit is perfect and your face is beat, you don’t grab your keys and say, “Hey, I’m gonna go and lay down in a pig pin and roll around in slop.”

If you do, my apologies.

But when you decide that you and your girls are going to go out for a night on the town for a little fun and flirting, you don’t pick the local barnyard to hang with the swine. You are putting on your best to put your best foot forward and catch the eye of your dark knight in shining armor on his trusty steed to ride off into the sunset.

But, as a woman, we should be paying as much attention to our personalities as we do to our outside appearances. You can dress a pig up, but in the end, it's still a pig.

Even as fly a pig as Miss Piggy is...

Proverbs 11:22

“A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.”

Being a wife is hard, but being a WifeWorthy woman isn’t a walk in the park either. You are in a position where you are patiently waiting for God to whisper your name in a man’s ear, and you feel like you have to be ready at all times. After all, the first thing a person sees is the outward appearance, and you want to be attractive. There is nothing wrong with that. But nothing turns off a man quicker than a beautiful woman with a nasty attitude.

Ouch.

What good is a gold ring in a pig’s snout? Have you ever seen what a pig does with its snout? It’s always on the ground, sniffing and searching, or up another pig’s butt. Something of value has no good use in the mud. And a beautiful face has no business masking a bad attitude. So what exactly constitutes a bad attitude?

A woman that doesn’t live the way that God has designed her to live.
And there is no better place to start than your Bible.

When you get a chance, peruse Proverbs 31. It’s the roadmap to living the life of a virtuous woman, or in easier words, living the way God designed you to.

If you deal with your crazy, you won’t have to worry about your mask slipping and letting it show. You will have nothing to hide. There is no such thing as a perfect woman, but you can live your life in a way that’s perfect for you. And your perfect life will be ready for your perfect man who is also dealing with his own crazy. Men can have broken hearts too, you know. The ideal here is not to be perfect and not to be crazy.

It’s to be the best you that you possibly can be…

 

Deal With Your Crazy (#WifeWorthy Diaries)

We live in a time in which everything that we think we might need to improve as a woman is available on an app. Weight loss apps, inspirational message apps, employment tip apps, dating apps… There’s an app for everything these days.

Seriously. Whatever you can think, I guarantee there is an app for it.

Anyway, there are tons of things available to assist in self-development these days.as well. No longer are you left to cruising through book stores in full disguise to pick up the latest edition of “Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus”, only to rush home and read it, highlighters in hand. There are also a bunch of internet-verified life coaches that are ready and willing to take your twelve monthly payments of $19.95 in order to help you “find yourself”.

But I digress…

I am neither a life coach nor a relationship guru, but there is a helpful tip that I can give you on becoming a better single you before you become a married you. It’s more difficult to find out who you are BEFORE you make the decision to live your “for better or worse” with someone else. While you are living your #WifeWorthy life, you have the time and space to become the best you that you can be so that when your husband does find you, you will be an enhancement and not an albatross. So let me give you these four small but very important words. Ready?

Deal. With. Your. Crazy.

I can drop the microphone and walk off the stage Coming to America style right now, but I’m going to give you a little more of an explanation first.

Mark 5:33

“Then the frightened woman,trembling at the realization of what happened to her,
came and fell to her knees in front of His
and told Him what she had done.”

If you have been graced enough to reach the age of twenty-one, you my dear, are old enough to have been through some things. And if you are my age, which is a few beats past thirty, you quite possibly have survived quite a bit. I’ve seen heartbreak, sickness, childbirth, more heartbreak and I’m currently in the midst of surviving raising a teenager.

Yikes!

But as a lady, you should be approaching an age where you start to reflect on the things that you have lived through, and can see how those things have shaped you into the woman you are now. Some of the storms that I have weathered have left a lasting impression. Not too long after I turned thirty, my integrity became just as important to me as my appearance. I had to calculate all of the abuse, the heartbreak, the low self-esteem, the financial burdens, the child rearing and everything else my eyes have seen and my heart has felt. I had to ask myself: “Is this really me? Or am I a product of what I’ve been through?”

Not an easy question to answer.

Everybody had crazy, boo. I'm sorry if I'm the one to have to tell you this but you have some crazy, your mom had some, as well as your grandma, aunts, cousins, sisters and friends. Some people cover it up better than others. We might be walking around mumbling and scratching yourselves (no shade), but every female that you have come in contact with has had a measure of crazy, whether they have accepted it or are in denial about it.  I was crazy! I had allowed the heartbreak I had seen make me bitter, the hardship make me angry and the combination of loneliness and depression make me fake. I was walking around with a smiling mask on, doing a bang up job of convincing those around me that I was doing great, while I was a ticking time bomb underneath. It wasn’t a pretty picture.

But I had to get to the point where my life was more important than my crazy.

The truth is, you can’t be in a successful relationship of any kind unless you dedicate some time to dealing with your crazy. You may be living a life full of tragedy, or your life may be all sunshine and roses. But at some point, you must address the crazy that you have let seep in somewhere during the course of your past so it won’t ruin your future.

If you are planning on getting married, let me share a little secret with you: Marriage will expose all of your crazy; even the crazy you didn’t know you had. Your husband will be a life-sized mirror, exposing every wrinkle and roll. He will point out your bad habits, your good habits, your buttons and the invisible zippers you were trying to hide. He will make you see yourself the way others see you, which is not always the easiest pill to swallow.

As you move forward from WifeWorthy to WifeStyle, ask God to reveal to you what crazy you might have left. Let Him expose it, address it, deal with it and heal you of it. That’s the only way it can be handled correctly and you can move on.  If you don’t, your mask won’t be able to hide everything that’s underneath, and you don’t want all your crazy showing.

Not a good look….

 

But What If??? (#WifeWorthy Diaries)

So, contrary to popular belief, I was sexually active before I got married.
Insert shocked expression here...
In fact, I had a seven year old daughter, and was pregnant with my youngest daughter when my husband and I got married. So, I know how it feels to be a woman that has hormones, feelings and desires.
I get it.
I also know that God has some pretty clear rules about fornication, which is sex before marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:2-3

"Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter.

Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.

But because there is so much sexual immorality,

Each man should have his own wife,

And each woman should have her own husband."

 

 

I used to be the woman that knew what God said about something, but understood what the ways of the world were saying:

"I mean, it's cool not to have sex and all, but, what if I get married and don't like having sex with my husband. Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life with someone that doesn't satisfy me sexually???
Well, there are a few other ways to look at it, but no other way to do it.

I'm sorry to say that I was wrong, and if you are a #WifeWorthy woman that feels like this now, you are wrong to. We cannot compromise ourselves for a few minutes of temporary gratification. Let's just say, for instance, you dated quite a few guys before you got married; maybe 4 or 5. If you had sex with 4 or 5 guys to find out if you were sexually compatible, you could go on like that forever. How many compromises are you going to make in the name of sex?

And, what if you like having sex with them, but something else with the relationship doesn't work out? That's adding more people to your list that you are compromising your virtue, as well as your relationship with God for.

I know, I know. I sound like a hypocrite. I did it. Who am I to say that you shouldn't do it as well?

I am a woman that got married BECAUSE she was pregnant. I didn't have the option to make sure that my relationship with my husband was right, and we had to work through issues AFTER we got married that we could have spent time working on those things INSTEAD OF having sex.

The bottom line is, if you are believing God that the man you are in relationship with is your husband, or still believing God to reveal you to your husband, you are worth the wait. And if God will send him to you, you all will be compatible in every way.

AND, if you weren't having sex, you would have no reference point for what was good sex and what was bad sex. BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T HAVING SEX!
It's not possible to become a virgin a second time. Once that ship has sail, it shall never return. But, if you have the desire to live the way the Lord wants you to, you can always repent and be forgiven for premarital sex. You can start over! God is indeed a forgiving and loving God and He will meet you right where you are.
But what if he leaves? But what if he decides he doesn't want to wait? But what if he starts to cheat? But what if we break up? Then darling, he's not the man for you. No man is worth your virtue, your disobedience to God and the defiling of your body. Love yourself more than that man.

You are a #WifeWorthy woman, and you are worth the wait. And the man that is truly meant for you and sent for you will agree with God...