Struggling Through Construction...

This week, I'm gonna talk about something that I usually don't discuss: my separation.
I don't not discuss it because I'm trying to hide it or make it seem like my marriage is perfect and yours is horrible or anything. I'm the openest of open books on most things. I just thought that, maybe if I didn't talk about it, it wouldn't hurt so much.
Oh, how wrong I was...
So, my husband and I separated for a little over a year. He made some choices over the course of our marriage that I didn't agree with, but I didn't speak on. There were things that I knew were going on and I chose to ignore for the sake of having a husband. Pesky low self-esteem. We couldn't even talk on the phone without getting into an argument He told me that he left because I made him unhappy. While that is his opinion, I have a different idea of what happened.
See, when my husband and I got together, were weren't friends or associates. We went to the same high school, but I didn't know him. We didn't work together or live in the same neighborhood. No. Our relationship was based on sex.
Cover your eyes if it gets too much for you, hunni.
Sex is all we did and all we were good at. That's all we talked about most of the time. Mostly. Other than food. We were in relationship for almost seven years before we got married, but it wasn't healthy because it wasn't Godly. And when we did get married I was pregnant, and me and the guy I was having sex with were trying to piece together a marriage and build a life and family together based on sin.
As I look back on all of the arguments, fights, attitudes and issues that plagued my marriage, I now understand what caused it to get to a place of failure, and I hope that you will be able to follow what I'm say.
Altered Perception. I thought there was some light, but things around me were pitch black.

Matthew 6:22-23

"Your eye is a lamp that provides

Light for your body.

When your eye is good, your whole body

Is filled with light.

But when your eye is bad,

Your whole body is filled with darkness.

And if the light you think you have is

Actually darkness,

How deep that darkness is!"

 

Here's the thing: I was in a dark room and had convinced myself there was sunlight all around.

Sin is what keeps up in darkness, and my marriage was based on sin. Since sin is equated with death, my marriage was doomed to fail before it even started.

The Bible is very clear about sexual relations outside of marriage. And when we for married, I believed that our relationship would automatically be blessed and things would be fine because our sexy times was now covered under the covenant of marriage.

Wrong again...

When light comes into a dark room, all the darkness must disappear. So, when we got married, God entered our relationship and exposed all of the sin that had been lying around being ignored by sexy time. God had to tear down everything and expose what was dark. We didn't really have anything based on light, so our marriage began to crumble.

God had to build it back up the right way.

So instead of being under pressure, we're under construction. To keep things completely honest, my husband and I are still struggling through construction, but we can talk without yelling now. I consider that a major accomplishment.

Maybe I'll buy a cake.

I would encourage you to ask God to shed some light on some areas you and your husband may be having trouble with. Let Him expose the shadows to the Sun cam shine in...