Follow the Leader...

 

Its makes me laugh sometimes when I hear how some women talk about men. It’s sad, but it’s kind of amusing too. These are some of the conversations that I’ve heard recently:

-I want a man that has his own and can take care of me.

-I can do for myself; I don’t need any man to take care of me!

-I can’t wait ‘til God sends me a husband.

-I don’t need anyone telling me what to do. I’m grown!

Contradiction is the name of the game here folks.

So, it’s no secret that I had a child before I got married. My oldest daughter was born when I was 19, so, even though I lived with my parents until I got married at the age of 26, I was well aquainted with the idea of responsibility beforehand. I was someone’s mother! It doesn’t get too much more responsible than that. I worked a full-time job and provided for my daughter all at the same time. Yes, my parents did help, but I was her sole breadwinner. I had a fair level of independence.

But there are some ladies that have been independent and responsible for the majority of their lives. For various reasons, they took care of themselves, perhaps their siblings and maybe even their own children. So when you did decide to get married, it took some time to get used to having someone tell you what you can do with your time, money and even your children.

I can hear you already… “He’s not my daddy! He can’t tell me what to do!”

He can, actually…

1 Samuel 14:7 & 12

“’Do what you think is best,” the armor nearer replied.

 “I’m with you completely, whatever you decide.”…

“…Come on, climb right behind me,”

Jonathan said to his armor bearer,

‘for the Lord will help us defeat them!”

I’m not sure if you’re familiar with this portion of the scripture or not, but Jonathan was the king’s son and his people were about to begin a battle with the Philistines. The person he was talking to in this passage was his armor bearer. An armor bearer is exactly what it sounds like: a person that carries the king’s armor. He is the closest person to Jonathan. An assistant, a confidant, a listening ear, a supporter. The armor bearer’s job is to observe, listen and obey. They are still leaders because they carry out the commands of the leader. They may delegate and make sure things are getting done. I like to call them the leader of the followers.

Kind of like a wife.

Like an armor bearer, we make sure the major things get done, we follow out the commands of our husbands and we carry our husbands’ armor. We make sure that we get everything that they need and that see things that they may not be able to see. We listen to them gripe and complain, we encourage them and we tell them about dangers that they may not be aware of.
The thing about being an armor bearer, and a wife, is that we still lead. The things that I learned about being independent as a single mother are things that can still help in making you a great wife. Your organization skills, your discernment and your financial savvy may be some of the skills that your husband may lack. You pick up where he leads off. And what he may do wrong, you can come behind her and fix. It’s not 50/50; it’s 100/100. 100% percent of his energy and 100% of yours. It takes both of you to make your lives successful.
Think about it like a dance. From my experience (which is pretty much limited to watching "Dancing with the Stars), there is one who leads and one who follows. The leader is most traditionally the man, who is said to be stronger. He leads the woman in every step, and she follows. Both dancers must know the steps, but both cannot lead. And when the leader leads and the follower follows, the dance can flow freely and turn out beautifully. But if both dancers try to lead, someone foot gets stepped on, someone trips and both can be injured. No one needs that.

So don’t look at it like he’s trying to be your dad. He may not be exercising his power over you to control you or be malicious and lay. He’s trying to be your husband and lead you. I know that you’ve been carrying the load for a long time alone, but now you have someone who will carry it with you or even for you. So let him lead. While he’s walking ahead in the battle, fighting the enemy on the frontlines, you walk in every footstep that he makes. Since he’s been there, you know that it’s safe. He’s already conquered those enemies.

 And while he’s fighting in front of you, you can watch his back….