Dream Big Dreams...

Has your husband shared his dreams with you?
My husband is never really big on sharing anything, but I can always tell when he has something new on his brain. He talks about it, mentioning it in passing conversation. I see him looking it up on the internet, trying to figure out how to start the process of whatever the dream may entail. Its funny because out of the nearly fourteen years I have known my husband, he has had so many jobs and so many jobs/dreams it is hard for me to keep up. But hey, we're talking about it, so I'll give it a whirl:
Landscaper, barber, bank teller, restaurant owner, minister, drug dealer, landscaper, bus driver and  mechanic.
I know I said landscaper twice, but we visited that one quite a bit.
Thank God, he was delivered from the street pharmaceutical portion of his life, but the other ones weren't so bad. He has always had dreams. He knew that he wanted to be better than the person that he was in his past. He knew that he wanted to take care of his family and he wanted his children to live an abundant life. It may have taken him a while to get his momentum up, but my point is, he had dreams. I didn't always agree, but I tried my best to support him until he found his niche. So let me ask you...
Do you believe in your husband's dreams?

Proverbs 16:9

"We can make our plans,

But the Lord determines our steps."

 

It is very difficult to set out on a new path. Starting a new job, losing a job, expanding your family, relocating. There are so many changes that come about as we live our lives. Even starting a blog takes effort! But you know what is especially hard? Setting out to make your dreams come true with no support system.

I may not have been the best wife, but I tried to make sure that I supported my husband and all of his business endeavors. Well okay. Not all. But you know what I mean. I listened to him plan, let him bounce his ideas off me, helped him when he asked, left him alone when he didn't ask and I prayed for God to order his steps and guide him.
I sat and bit my nails nervously when he decided to go back to college, and I was so proud of him when he graduated. I was just as nervous as he was when he went for job interviews and stayed up late to listen to him weigh the pros and cons of each position when he got job offers. I will admit, I did have an issue about him changing careers with the wind, and I did voice them; not always in the most supportive ways. But we were on his dream rollercoaster together.
It might be hard when you don't understand your husband's plans or be able to follow his train of thought. But our job as wives isn't to make the plans for him. We stand beside him and help where we can, praying the whole time. Trusting your husband will mean the world to him, and when it's your turn to build your dreams, he will remember what you did for him. Then the support will happen for you in return.
So dream big with your husband, and watch him dream big with you...

Stop Sitting Shiva...

If you aren't of Jewish descent, you probably have no idea what a Shiva is or why you would be sitting on it. I'm not of Jewish descent either, but I heard this term somewhere and I never forgot it.
Before you bust out the Google Search, I've already done the homework for you. Here's the actual definition as found in www.Shiva.com:

"'Sitting Shiva' is a term used to describe the

 action of Jewish mourners

participating  in the traditional rituals of observing a Shiva.

During the period of Shiva, mourners sometimes

sit on low stools or boxes while they receive condolence calls.

This is where the phrase “sitting Shiva” comes from,

and it is a practice that symbolizes the mourner being “brought low”

 following the loss of a loved one. For seven days,

the family members of the deceased gather in one location

– typically their own home or the home of the deceased –

and mourns the loss in a variety of ways."

 

According to the things that I've seen on television (which I will be the first to say is not the most reliable source), when a loved one passes away, those that are of Jewish faith remain in one location for seven days and mourn together.
Okay Sam. How does this apply to me? I hear you. I realize that this may seem a little odd for my blog but I promise, there is a point, and here it is:
Some of us wives love to sit Shiva on issues that have gone long passed the mourning period.
Yup, I said it.
It is inevitable that issues will arise in our marriages. Arguments will be argued, eyes will be rolled, lips will smack and it's quite possible that insults will fly. That's just how it is. Whenever you are in close proximity to anyone for an extended period of time, there is a definite possibility of conflict. But the conflict needs to be resolved and forgiven.
The conflict part is happening. The resolving part is happening. But the forgiveness part is lacking. Hard.

2 Corinthians 2:7-8

"Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him.

Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement.

So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him."

 

You see that? The Bible doesn't lie, LOL. It say, Now is the time for you to forgive.

I know that sometimes we feel like we should stay mad for a minute to make sure that they understand that we mean business. I know that sometimes our feelings are really, genuinely hurt, and we feel as though we are unable to let go of the cross thing our man did. So the first thing to do is forgive him intentionally, immediately.

Why should you forgive? That's the next part. Because your husband may get discouraged. Sometimes when I would get upset with my husband on a consistent basis, he would begin to withdraw. He would separate himself from me. It would hurt me more, and I would withdraw as well. Once time passed, he would tell me that he felt he had to put some space between us because he was tired of hurting me. If he wasn't close to me, he couldn't hurt me. He was discouraged. I had to make it my business to love him through our disagreement.

And lastly, reaffirm your love for him. Make sure your husband knows that you love him, even if you are irritated, discouraged, hurt and mad. Just because there was a hiccup doesn't mean there will never be calm again. And, you want to be the wife that can be trusted by her husband. So once the resolution has taken place, show him there are no hard feelings. A nice dinner, a card or a little sexy time. Maybe all three. Whatever you have to do to show your man that your love for him is unconditional, make that happen. It will make sure the sailing is smooth if/when another breeze blows.

So let that grudge go, hunni. Punishment is for criminals. Unless you are Jewish and a family member dies, Shiva time is over...



Happy 100th Post!!!

 

This is our 100th Insane Wives' Blog Post!

 

Whether this is your first time reading our blog, or you have been following us since we began in 2012, we are so grateful to you and for you. THANK YOU for every click, every share and every like. THANK YOU for every repost, every retreat and every +. THANK YOU for every smile, every wish and every prayer. THANK YOU for your questions, your suggestions and your kind words.

 

When I began writing this blog, it was to help me express the feelings that I felt about being married. It was a diary for me to vent about  my anger, frustration, happiness and love. I was searching for a place to answer the questions that I had about marriage and even about myself. I had no idea that God would branch my little journal out to reach so many women of so many different walks of life. But it has truly been my prayer that as God transformed me from insane to encouraged through the revelation of His Word, that He would do the same for you.

 

So, as we keep moving forward, I hope that you will move with us. Keep the emails and the inboxes coming! We love to hear everything that you have to say, even if it's just a hi.  Like us on Facebook, subscribe to our blog, order a t-shirt. We don't take any of you for granted. You don't have to click on our New Post Mondays or like our page, but you do. And for that we are forever grateful.

 

HAPPY 100TH POST WIVES!!!

We love you....

 

The Perfect Marriage Model...

I have discovered the secret model to have the perfect marriage.
It is so simple, it has been sitting under our noses the whole time! You ready? Do you really want to know what the best example of marriage is???
CHURCH.
Now, when you stop laughing, we can move on.
Please understand what I am saying. The best model for marriage that we as married women and women who want to be married have is the church that God desires. I'm talking about the churches that we have come to know and tolerate now. Not the churches we see on TV or read about in novels, with greedy, adulterous ministers, gossiping ushers, back-stabbing first ladies and fornication children.
I am talking about the church the way God designed it to be.
The safe haven for the wounded and hurting. The place where unconditional love abounds, the Word of God is taught and men and women receive the healing, deliverance and ministry that they need. The church that impacts and changes the lives of those that are members and the lives of everyone and everything that surrounds it.
Now that's a church.

Ephesians 5:21-23

"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body,

of which he is the Savior."

Let's skate past the submission for a minute to deal with verse 23 first. Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of it. He was born to pay the debt of the sins of the world on the Cross where He was crucified. God uses His church as an example of what He designed marriage to be.
-The husband is the head. He's the leader, fashioned after Jesus Christ.
-The wife is the bride, fashioned after the church.
It looks a little different now, eh? Let me help you a little more.
We are to submit to our husbands (our leaders) the way the church is to submit to Christ. We are to follow them and build them up. Our husbands are to provide for us and love us, the way Christ loves the church.
It may seem complicated, but its really not. Think about how dedicated (or not so dedicated) you are to your church. I'll use myself for an example. When I'm there, I'm taking care of the needs of my leaders, making sure the service begins on time, making sure it's clean, paying my tithes and offering so that it can run properly, telling people great things about it... I love my church, and I'm sure my leaders can tell. Do I do the same for my husband???
*crickets*
There shouldn't be silence. I should be able to answer with a loud "YES!" and runs shouting through the aisles, but sadly, most time I fall short. I have to constantly remind myself to reverence my husband the way I do the house of the Lord, and submit to them the way I submit to my leaders. It may seem hard at first, but it takes a simple (or not so simple) perspective change.
Don't beat yourself up about it, just look to the Lord and follow the model that He had for the church.
That's the way it's supposed to be...