Stop Sitting Shiva...

If you aren't of Jewish descent, you probably have no idea what a Shiva is or why you would be sitting on it. I'm not of Jewish descent either, but I heard this term somewhere and I never forgot it.
Before you bust out the Google Search, I've already done the homework for you. Here's the actual definition as found in www.Shiva.com:

"'Sitting Shiva' is a term used to describe the

 action of Jewish mourners

participating  in the traditional rituals of observing a Shiva.

During the period of Shiva, mourners sometimes

sit on low stools or boxes while they receive condolence calls.

This is where the phrase “sitting Shiva” comes from,

and it is a practice that symbolizes the mourner being “brought low”

 following the loss of a loved one. For seven days,

the family members of the deceased gather in one location

– typically their own home or the home of the deceased –

and mourns the loss in a variety of ways."

 

According to the things that I've seen on television (which I will be the first to say is not the most reliable source), when a loved one passes away, those that are of Jewish faith remain in one location for seven days and mourn together.
Okay Sam. How does this apply to me? I hear you. I realize that this may seem a little odd for my blog but I promise, there is a point, and here it is:
Some of us wives love to sit Shiva on issues that have gone long passed the mourning period.
Yup, I said it.
It is inevitable that issues will arise in our marriages. Arguments will be argued, eyes will be rolled, lips will smack and it's quite possible that insults will fly. That's just how it is. Whenever you are in close proximity to anyone for an extended period of time, there is a definite possibility of conflict. But the conflict needs to be resolved and forgiven.
The conflict part is happening. The resolving part is happening. But the forgiveness part is lacking. Hard.

2 Corinthians 2:7-8

"Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him.

Otherwise he may be overcome by discouragement.

So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him."

 

You see that? The Bible doesn't lie, LOL. It say, Now is the time for you to forgive.

I know that sometimes we feel like we should stay mad for a minute to make sure that they understand that we mean business. I know that sometimes our feelings are really, genuinely hurt, and we feel as though we are unable to let go of the cross thing our man did. So the first thing to do is forgive him intentionally, immediately.

Why should you forgive? That's the next part. Because your husband may get discouraged. Sometimes when I would get upset with my husband on a consistent basis, he would begin to withdraw. He would separate himself from me. It would hurt me more, and I would withdraw as well. Once time passed, he would tell me that he felt he had to put some space between us because he was tired of hurting me. If he wasn't close to me, he couldn't hurt me. He was discouraged. I had to make it my business to love him through our disagreement.

And lastly, reaffirm your love for him. Make sure your husband knows that you love him, even if you are irritated, discouraged, hurt and mad. Just because there was a hiccup doesn't mean there will never be calm again. And, you want to be the wife that can be trusted by her husband. So once the resolution has taken place, show him there are no hard feelings. A nice dinner, a card or a little sexy time. Maybe all three. Whatever you have to do to show your man that your love for him is unconditional, make that happen. It will make sure the sailing is smooth if/when another breeze blows.

So let that grudge go, hunni. Punishment is for criminals. Unless you are Jewish and a family member dies, Shiva time is over...