Fifth of July???

Fourth of July fireworks are amazing. I'm not a big fan of the loud noises, but it an amazing vision of loveliness to behold. I live in a city that has one of the most beautiful skylines known to man, and I love to watch the city's firework's displays on this wonderful country's Independence Day. Sometimes, my family goes to different suburbs to watch their different version of this patriotic fabulousness. Then once the fourth is over, have you noticed that there is still fireworks being shot off? I know in my neighborhood, we can still see and hear people doing their thing even on the fifth of July.
It's not the holiday, but the fireworks are still in effect.
The same goes for your marriage.
The honeymoon may be over, but the spark needs to stay lit.

Proverbs 5:18-19

"Let your fountain be blessed,

And rejoice in the wife of your youth,

A lovely deer, an graceful doe.

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;

Be intoxicated always in her love."

 

Well, I don't know if that could have made it any clearer.

God designed sex within marriage, not only so a husband and wife can procreate, but also so that they can enjoy each other. Sex is supposed to be fun in a marriage! I know what the world says, but you need to know what God says. There is no reason, other than fasting or health issues, that you and your husband should not be doing it.

So do it.

A lot.

Some say marriage fails because of finances and communication, but I say its because couples stop having sex. I may be wrong, but I'm only speaking from experience. When my husband and I would argue, the disagreements would only last and escalate if we stopped making love. Sex eases tension and remind us as that we are one with our spouses. Literally. There are more than a few benefits of love making too:
Sex has many health benefits. In addition to eat right, exercising and getting enough rest, it can help you stay healthy. People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders. Research shows that couples who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to couples who had sex less often.
Sex improves sleep. If you or your husband fall asleep quickly after sex, there is a good reason for it.

After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released, which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness afterward. Plus, there is no way you can go to sleep mad if you do it right.

Sex eases stress. Being close to your partner can soothe stress and anxiety.

Touching and hugging can release your body's natural “feel-good hormone.” Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system. Sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness, too. It’s not only a prescription for a healthy life, but a happy one.

 

I am a firm believer in improving marriage in any way. Like I said, it may not work, but it just might work out better than you thought. You have nothing to lose and even more to gain. God created sex especially for your situation, so you already have the Father's permission.

The Fourth of July fireworks may be over, but its still warm.

Wanna Be Happy???

Do you use Google Search? I must admit, I Google everything. My name and the names of people in my family. Things that I see on the internet to find out if they are true or just a rumor. Restaurants and stores that I'm thinking about patronizing. Even for commentary on scriptures that I think about writing about.
Next to Wal-Mart, Google is my other vice.
So, I was thinking about things to talk to you about and the word "happy" popped into my head.
Well, it was more like the song lyrics popped in my head, but that's because that song is EVERYWHERE!!!
Anyway, I Googled it and a lot of interesting things came up. Of course, this song that I can't seem to get away from covered the majority of the findings, but a few other things were found as well. Quotes and other songs, pictures of food and families, movies and even a picture of a bed came up.
I don't even wanna know what that was about.
I was thinking about the different things that I rely on to make me happy. My husband, my children, my church, even my writing. They all give me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, but do they really make me happy?
Mostly no.

Psalm 119:35

"your laws make me happy.

I never forget about your word." (GW)

 

 

There are a lot of things in the world that can enhance our happiness. Our families, our ministry, jobs and even our husbands. But, I think that one of the problems that we have when we are in search of that magic wand to "make" us happy, we end up disappointed. Nothing can make us happy; especially not our husbands. He's a man and, perfect though you might see him, he has flaws. Anything with flaws will fail. It is inconceivable that your husband will do everything to your satisfaction. I'm sure he's a wonderful dude; I know mine is. But He's not perfect. Only God is.

The only way that we can truly be happy is to find our joy in the Lord. He's the Giver of Life, so why wouldn't He know how to make you happy? He's perfect in every way, and He knows you better than you know yourself.

If you want to truly be happy, ask God to show you what makes Him happy about you. Then do that. It is inevitable that your life's happiness will increase, and the happiness that you find through your marriage and other aspects of your life will only get better. Look to His Word and ask Him through prayer. He'll show you, because he promised:

James 1:5

"If need wisdom,

Ask our generous God,

And He will give it to you.

He will not rebuke you for asking."

Remember, God wants you to be happy. He would love for you to ask Him, so He can show you the way....

 

What are some of the things that enhance your happiness?

Please share, you might help someone else....

Feeling Sexy, Ladies???

To be or not to be? Sexy, that is....
Are you feeling sexy today?
You should. I have come to the realization that sexy is not an outfit or a special occasion.
It's an attitude.
A few posts back I talked about privacy and personal space. In that post, I also talked about how confidence is sexy, because it is.
I don't know how many men I have heard say that if a woman acts like she doesn't love and care about herself, no matter how physically pretty she is, she is totally unattractive to him. Now, I'm not saying that you have to live up to any man's standards. You can be whomever you want to be. But just remember, as a wife, it is in your best interest to keep your husband's attention toward you.
Wandering eyes lead to straying away.
Confidence isn't just for other people to believe in you. It is an important factor for you to believe in yourself. Who wants to invest in a company that its executives won't back? Or buy a product that even the manufacturers won't use? When you like things about you, and accentuate the positive, you'll begin to feel amazing and fall in love with you.

Hebrews 10:35

"Therefore do not throw away

Your confidence,

Which has a great reward."

I remember, when my husband and I were separated, I would always make sure that I looked my best in church on Sunday. I could be a hot mess the rest of the week (and I usually was!), but because I knew that would be the day I would see him, I wanted to make sure that he would be able to see what he was missing out on when he left. And it would never fail that, every Sunday, he would find a way to tell me how nice I looked.
Ha!
However, I realized that I liked making myself look good. I enjoyed wearing clothes that fit and combing my hair to look nice. I liked putting on make up and taking time to make sure that I looked great. It made me feel better. The phrase "when you look good you feel good" is an absolute truth. You stand up a little straighter, walked with your head held up a little higher and it feels amazing.
Sexy is not in a short skirt or a push-up bra. Those things only enhance the outside. If the inside is full of mess, nothing attracted to the outer will last anyway.
If you are unhappy with some things about yourself, only you can decide when to change them and how you want to change them. Your husband will love what you love. Wake up every day and tell yourself, "I'm sexy and I know it". Even if it is in yoga pants and tank tops. Sexy is a state of mind.
So, how sexy are you feeling now???

And the Best Supporting Wife Role Award Goes To...

This topic was a Free Yourself Friday subject on Twitter a few weeks ago, and I think it bears a little more conversation.
We, as wives, need to know our roles.
Now, don't get mad and close the browser. It's true, but you need to let me explain.
I get your frustrated when you hear someone tell you to stay in your lane. At least, I know it made my teeth itch a time or two. Who is anyone else to tell me to "know my role"? I'm grown! I don't need anyone to tell me what to do, and my husband ain't my daddy!  I can do and say whatever I want.
Blah, blah, blah.
I get it. We're all adults. If you weren't of age, you wouldn't be married. Whatever state you live in decided that, when you went to the county clerk's office to file for a marriage certificate with your husband, you were old enough to decide that you wanted to be married. So of course you can take care of yourself.
But the bottom line is, your husband is the head of your household. You don't take a backseat to him, but he's the main character of your Life's Story. That means that you play a very important part. One man productions aren't very much fun: supporting roles are necessary.

Genesis 2:18

"Then the Lord God said,

'It is not good that the man should be alone;

I will make him a helper fit for him.'"

 

God doesn't do anything accidentally or coincidentally. God not only gave you to your husband as his wife and helpmeet; He fit you for your husband.

No one else can do for your husband what you do for him. No one else can even pray for your husband the way you can. You are his cheerleader, his lover, his friend and his confidant. You may also moonlight as his chef, his chauffeur, his maid and his laundress. Don't think that he's using you to do the things that he doesn't want to do. You are his wife! It's your job to help him in anyway you can.

Even the best main characters of movies and plays cannot possibly be the best without the supporting characters. The main character leads, but the supporting characters make them look as great as great can be. As a helpmeet to your husband, you make him shine. You make sure that his clothed match and aren't wrinkled, or that his shirt complements his skin. You see to it that he is fed and groomed and that everything is in order for him when he has things to do. You are his main girl, his helper and his wife. So when he shines, you're doing quite a bit of glowing yourself.

Remember the phrase, "Behind every good man is a great woman"?
Well the best supporting wife role in you and your husband's life story goes to you.

Here's your standing ovation....





Let It All Hang Out... or Nah???

 

Let's talk about inhibitions and privacy.

Do you and your husband have any boundaries? Or are you just free and flowing with each other?

My husband is very self-confident. He has no issues with body image or self-confidence. As a matter of fact, he is the most confident person that I know. Without being to graphic, he has no problems being "bare" about anything. As far as he's concerned, I'm invisible when he has "business" to take care of.

I, on the other hand, am one of the most modest people on the planet. It probably has a lot to with the way that I feel about myself; I battle against self-esteem and  body/image issues. But I personally believe in the concept of personal space and privacy. Everyone is entitled to their own space, right?

Well, this got me to thinking. Is it okay to keep some things personal to you, or do you feel the need to include your husband in every, single part of your life? How much is too much? What if you have privacy issues and your husband doesn't? Does that present a problem?

When we have questions, I'm so glad that we know where to go for the answers.

 

Judges 3:24-25

"When he had gone, the servants came,

And when they saw that the doors of the roof

Were locked, they thought,

'Surely he is relieving himself

In the closet of the cool chamber.'

And they waited  till they were embarrassed.

But when he still did not open

The doers of the roof chamber,

They took the key and opened them,

And there lay their lord dead on the floor."

 

The Bible doesn't say too much about privacy. As a matter of fact, this is the only scripture that discusses anything close to it. The gist of the story is, someone came and assassinated a man named Ehud, but no one knew he was dead until much later because his servants were afraid to enter his chambers. He must have been a man that was serious about his privacy.

FYI, cool chamber is Old Testament-speak for bathroom or toilet.

The point I'm trying to make is that, you have to do what is comfortable for you. If you aren't comfortable going to the bathroom or passing gas in front of your husband, that's your preference. You may find that you are extremely uncomfortable though. That type of privacy isn't really privacy at all; it's fear. My husband once told me that he thought I didn't trust him because I preferred bathe and dress alone. I had pushed out four babies in his sight, but wouldn't undress in his presence. I felt bad, and had to do some self-evaluating. And if you are afraid of what your husband will do or say, your issue is deeper than a personal space issue.

I learned long ago that confidence isn't only attractive; it's sexy. His level of self-confidence is something that I find really attractive about my husband. And once, he made it clear that my lack of confidence within myself not only made him uncomfortable, but made him feel like I didn't trust him. I had no intention on letting such behaviors interfere with our relationship, so I made myself comfortable. I allowed myself to be vulnerable in my husband's presence on purpose. I acted confident until I became more confident.

I faked it until I made it.

I am all about personal space. I believe that everyone is entitled to a little alone time. It's needed. We're married and professed to share the rest of our entire lives with our husbands. For most, that's a long time! We have years and years and years of being together.

Let me use the cool chamber alone, thank you...

Five Areas to Pray for Your Husband...

 

 

Do you pray for your husband?

I don't mean the "Lord-fix-my-husband-and-make-him-act-right" kind of prayers. I mean, really, REALLY pray for your husband?

If you don't its about time you get to it and do it.

Our prayers aren't just so we can tell God our laundry lists of things that we feel like we want and need. When we pray, we are asking our Heavenly Father to do what He feel is best for our lives. As we trust Him that He hears our prayers and will answer, our faith in Him increases. So, when we pray unselfish prayers for our husbands, we are trusting God to do what is best for them, and in turn, what's best for us.

Luke 18:2-3, 5

 

"'There was a judge in a certain city', he said,

'who neither feared God nor cared about people.

A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying,

'Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.'

'...but this woman is driving me crazy!

I'm going to see that she gets justice,

Because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!'"

 

This scripture makes me smile. It is a parable that Jesus was telling to the disciples to show that they should pray and never give up. The judge could care less about what the woman wanted, but because she never stopped asking, he granted what she was asking.

Think about it: God cares about us infinitely. So wouldn't He gladly grant us our requests?

Okay, so maybe you don't know HOW to pray for him. Let me help you out.

Here are a few requests to pray for your husband:

1. Pray that your husband becomes/remains generous.

Proverbs 11:25:

"The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed".

When your husbands is generous and grateful, it opens the hands of the Lord for him to receive more.

 

2. Pray for his health, physically and spiritually.

 3 John 1:2:

"Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit."

You promised God and your husband that you would be together through sickness and health, til death. You would rather that be later than sooner, correct?

 

3. Pray that your husband grows and has favor.

Luke 2:52:

"Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature in favor with God and all the people."

Our husbands are sons of God, like Jesus. So, as with Jesus, pray that the Lord will continue to grow your husband and bless him to have favor with everyone he comes in contact with.

 

4. Pray that your husband lives his life pleasing to the Lord.

Proverbs 16:7:

"When people's lives please the Lord, even their enemies are at peace with them."

When your husband lives the will of God for his life, He will not only be blessed in every way, but he will be protected from those that wish him harm.

 

5. That He will know the love of God, and be able to love you.

 Ephesians 3:17-18:

"Then Christ will make His home in your hearts as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, low high and how deep His love is."

The love of God is perfect. If your husband loves you through Christ, your love will be long lasting and pure.

 

These are just a few examples, but as you pray, as the Lord to show you how to pray for your husband specifically. You want what's best for him, and what is best for your family. Don't think that you're prayers are not going to be heard;

Pray constantly, consistently and faithfully for your husband.

From Break Up List, to Make Up List

A few days ago, I opened the Twitter app on my phone to review notifications that I received. A few mentions, couple of retweets and a direct message or two, I came across a new follower alert from someone called, @BreakUpList. This caught my eye big time. Upon clicking on the Tweeter's profile page, I learned that this person decided to create a list of things that they wanted to do, but never got around to, because they were in a relationship.
Fascinating....
This list includes quite a few random objectives, including number 171, which is "go to a live auction" or number 155, "ride in a police car". That one caused me to pause. But when I recovered, my mind drifted to the use of this concept in marriage.
I call it, "The Make Up List".
We know that we have no intention on breaking up with our husbands. "To death do us part" is the motto we are living our marriages by. But, that doesn't mean that we don't have disagreements along the way.

Proverbs 27:1

"Do not brag about tomorrow,

Since you don't know what the day will bring."

 

We have do choose to stay active in our marriages, because everything that's dead needs to be buried. We want out relationships with our husbands to thrive! We can't choose to dwell on the mistakes that we make on any given day of any given year. Things happen, and we should move on and not dwell on that stuff. That can also go the other way as well; don't be so lost in the honeymoon stages of your marriage (because most likely you will have more than one), that you lose sight of everything else around you. That way, you will be able to see issues rising, and be better prepared to conquer them when confronted.

But anyway, back to my Make Up List.

When those issues come, and they will come, and they are conquered, celebrate. Don't spend too much time dwelling on the bad things or the rough patches. Positive attitude go a long way to change the dynamic of a relationship. Take joy in the fact that another fiery dart of the enemy bites the dust. I just had an anniversary. I'm not harping on all of the negative aspects of the years past. I was just happy to see another year as Mrs. Luckett. So spend some time making up things that you want to do with your spouse that you couldn't have done if you had broken up. You can include anything on it, as long as you are doing it together. Here are some suggestions:

-Have a moonlit picnic

-Run a marathon and finish together
-Spend the entire day together in bed

-Take a cooking class together

-Kiss under a waterfall

I would say, maybe keep @BreakUpList's number 155 off your list, unless you and your boo are into that kind of thing.

We live in a time where the bad is always magnified. Make the good outweigh the bad in your marriage. Let's celebrate some victories...