Above and Beyond

I have a problem. I usually have a problem taking responsibility for my own issues, but I'll take this one for the team. I will admit that I have the tendency to, depending on the person, only do what is asked of me and no more. I mean, I complete every task that comes my way to the best of my abilities, but I do that and no more. Especially when it comes to my husband.
If he asks me a question, I give the most condensed version of the answer that I have. Not because I'm trying to be short with him, but because I feel as though some things I don't need to give an explanation for. After all, he doesn't explain himself to me. 
If I'm out and he wants me to bring him something home, I get the cheapest most simple version of whatever it is that he needs. After all, he doesn't get the things that I ask him to bring me, the way I ask him to bring them.
Even when it comes to sex. I'm a little ashamed to say, I give as much effort into pleasing him as he does into pleasing me. I could do a little more for him, but I feel as though he doesn't give that much effort into pleasing me. Why should I break a sweat if he doesn't.
Do you see a pattern here?
Almost everything that I do for my husband is based on how I FEEL about him or the things that he's doing at the time. I only put as much thought or action into doing things for him as I think is necessary as a result of what I feel like he is doing. That's only fair, right? Why should I give above and beyond for him if I feel like he's not doing the same for me? Its only right that I give out what I'm given, right?
Wrong again...

Matthew 5:40-41
^" And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles." (NIV)

The things that we do for our spouses should not be based on our feelings or what we feel is best, but it should be done the best way that we can do them because that's just how it is.
I know that if you read the whole section of the Bible where this verse is found, you will see that it is a teaching on how to treat your enemies. Now, I know that your husband isn't your enemy, just like my husband isn't supposed to be mine, however, it doesn't always feel that way. Being the head of a household isn't easy, and it is indeed a thankless job. Your husband may seem to be a dictator at times; always pointing out what you do wrong and never telling you what you do right. Never a pat on the back. Even dogs get patted on the head for a job well done every now and then. But you seem to work and work and never get anything right.
Dictators are a pain in the butt.
Thank God your husband isn't a dictator. He's on your side, even when it seems like he's not. He works hard to make sure that you and your home have the best, or at least, the necessary until the best comes along. HE is there for protection, even though nothing dangerous ever seems to come along. He is who God holds responsible for the state of your marriage and your home. Who thanks him?  
Well, that's were you come in Miss Lady.
Yes, you are in the direct line of attack when your husband has things on his mind and his shoulders. When he has a bad day, he may just take it out on you, directly and indirectly. When the money is short and he is the one that carries the weight of the world feels like its on his shoulders, you're the one that gets the silent treatment. But its because of all those things that he deserves the best. 
We as wives can't always base our reactions to our husbands our feelings. Feelings aren't substantial or stable. Feelings come and go. Anger, fear, happiness, rage... These reactions are all based on how we feel. But when just like the passage says, when someone tries to take your shirt, give them the coat too.

My husband always tells me that he would rather have me not do something for him, than do it for him with an attitude. "Do it like you love me", he says. We have to show these men the love of God, and its unconditional. That's how we should treat our husbands. He may be responsible to God for us, but we're responsible to God for them. 
So when he asks for a soda, give him a cold one with a glass and some ice instead of just a room temperature can. When he asks you to make him dinner, make his favorite meal. And when he needs a little sexual attention, give it to him a with a little extra umph. He'll notice and so will God. 
The higher you go for your marriage now, the easier it will be to coast when you need to in the future. 
Above and beyond ladies. Above and beyond.