It's My Anniversary!!!

Today is my anniversary!!! My husband and I joined together seven years ago on this exact date. When I was thinking about this day all those years ago, I realized that my husband and I are still babies in our marriage. If our marriage were an actual human being, we would be in second grad, have to be in the house before the street lights come on and couldn't even cross the street by ourselves. In other words, we still have loads to learn about marriage, about each other and about our lives.
Even though it has only been seven years, they have been nothing if not eventful. Four babies in addition to the two that we already had, four moves, separations and several career changes are just a few of the mountains that we have had to overcome. I love him, and I've loved him for almost thirteen years, but even after we got married, there were times that I didn't like him very much.
Well, most times I didn't like him at all.
I knew that divorce was not an option. At least not for me. When I got married, I was determined to try and stay married until (1) I stopped breathing, or (2) my husband pursued a divorce. So, even when we faced those Sahara Desert-sized rough patches, I was determined to come out stronger then ever. I asked the Lord to give me ways to make the long haul. Eventually, He told me to think about why I liked my husband.

Zechariah 4:10

"Do not despise these

Small beginnings,

For the Lord rejoices to see the work begin..."

 

 

1. My husband is very attractive. He is the perfect example of tall, dark and handsome. And when he winks at me from across a crowded room, my knees still get weak.

2. He loves his children. I like to watch him sit on the floor and play with them, read books with them, or hear them horse-playing while I'm in another room.

3. My husbands is a provider. He works hard to make sure that my children and I need for nothing, and want for very little.

4. He loves the Lord. Sometimes, when we are in a service at church, I watch him with his hands lifted and his eyes closed in worship. His faith is important to him.

5. My husband loves salad. It used to bother me that he wanted a salad with almost every meal (even sometimes breakfast), but eating healthy is important to him.

6. He wants to see me healthy. Sometimes he rides me about my soda intake and my levels of exercise (or the lack thereof) but I know its only because he wants to make sure that I'm okay.

There are a lot of other things that I could list here, but it's my anniversary and I've got business to attend to *wink wink*

I just wanted  to stop by for a second and encourage you to remember, even the smallest of the small things, that you liked about your husband. Both before you got married and after you got married. Some of them may have changed, but if you look closely, a few may still be there.

And they may just make you smile when you see them...

Put Your Phone DOWN!!!

 

Welcome to the technological age! We live in a time where we no longer have to go outdoors to do anything but drive to the local computer or cell phone store. Letters and telephone calls are out of date. We don 't even have to go to church or to visit a loved one. I can pause live television! We can grocery shop over the internet, see our loved ones across the country with just the click of a button. We don't even have to go out to go to church! It seems fabulous.
Or at least, it used to.
With this constantly status-updating, profile changing, selfie taking world that we live in, the idea of personal contact is severely lacking. Yes, we can see what is going on with our friends and family members almost every minute of every day, but at the same time, it almost seems as if we are dependent on all of these battery operated gadgets. We get major attitudes when our phones diminish down to 15% battery and there is no charger in sight. And don't even get me started on locked WiFi access. It seems as though we have to be in contact with our Facebook, Twitters, Instagram and emails constantly. Even if we don't need them, we just want to be assured that they are available.
We are connected with everyone... But our husbands.
I have an anniversary coming up. On May 26th, I will have been married for seven whole years. People say that there is an itch coming, but I'm not worried. We spent the first 6 years overcoming so many obstacles, I believe that we can overcome anything together. You want to know how?
Eliminating distractions.

Luke 10:38-40

"As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way

To Jerusalem, they came to a certain village

Where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home.

Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord's feet,

Listening to what he taught.

But Martha was distracted by the big dinner

She was preparing..."

 

So, in this example, there were two sisters who were in the house when Jesus came to visit. There was no explanation on what was going on before Jesus got there, but I believe that both sisters may have been busy with the chores of the household. But, when he arrived, Mary opted to sit and listen to him teach, while Martha got busy with continuing to prepare dinner. Now, both of the sisters were doing something important, but only one of them had their priorities in order.

This may not seem to make sense to you now, but let me make it a little clearer for you.

You may be an extremely busy woman with an extremely busy man and busy children. Your life may revolve around a schedule that you must keep in order to please the job and the kids and make enough money to keep everyone in Nikes and iPhones. But, when it comes to spending time with your husband as his wife, the schedule must cease and the wife hat must be the only thing you have on.

Literally, or figuratively. The choice is yours. 



All of these gadgets, the smartphones and the tablets, the PDAs and the pagers (if anyone is still carrying those) are major distractions for couples trying to maintain healthy communication and intimacy. When it comes time to be that man's wife, put your phone on Do Not Disturb for a while and spend some time gazing into each other's eyes, or whatever you all like to do. I'm not saying you have to sit at his feet like Mary did Jesus, but it that's what works, try it.
Your schedule will be there when you all get done...

The Greatest of Great Expectations...

I was researching and reading about some of the most devastating problems that can occur in a marriage. I saw all of the usual things: communication, finances, sex. But then I stumbled upon an article that named expectations as a problem in marriages. I didn't read the article, so I cannot be sure as to what the author's perception was, but I began to think.
Could a person expect their marriage to death?
I do believe that it's possible.
Now, expectations would not be used as a valid reason in divorce court, but I believe that the phrase "irreconcilable difference" is no different. Think about it.
Before you got married, even before you thought about marriage, you had certain impressions about what marriage was. At least, I know that I did. I saw my parents and grandparents: my father and grandfather were the sole providers for the families, and my mother and grandmother took care of the homes and the children. I saw examples of marriage on television and read about it in books. As I got older, I better understood the dynamics, but the examples became a little different. I begin to see more unhappiness than happiness, more arguments that civility, more tolerance than love and more independence than teamwork.
I begin to see where the expectations can be the downfall.

Amos 3:3

"How can two walk together

Unless they agree to do so?"

Expectations are fine. As a matter of fact, the banner at the door of my church reads: "Come expecting. Leave receiving." Failing to have expectations for your marriage is like walking into a room blindfolded; you think you know what to expect, but without seeing, you have no idea.
Expecting the best in your husband is one of the best parts of being his wife. You know his strengths. You participate in the manifestation of his dreams. You are there to encourage, help and push him forward into his destiny.
Awesome job, really...
But the thing about expectations is, if you and your hubby aren't expecting the same thing, won't be working toward the same goal.
It is important to talk about expectations before you get married, but even more important to continue the discussion afterward. Times change and so do the both of you. As your life together progresses, it is increasingly important to stay on the same page about what direction it is going in. We have to move together. Always keep in mind that you and your husband are a team, working together to constantly exceed your goals and expectations together. Expectations change, and you all have to change together, with them.
Don't allow individual expectations become death to your marriage.
Expect together...

Just Say No!

I try to keep the Insane Wife topics light. Marriage can be so stressful and serious, its just a relief to see the issues we share as wives in positive and lighthearted way. But the truth is, marriage is serious business and everything cannot be laughed off.
Like divorce.
I don't like to talk about it, not because I live in a fantasy world where divorce doesn't exist. I just never see divorce as an option. Once I got married, I considered myself a wife for life. Come hell or high water, me and the mister were going to make it through, because we were together. God pit us together, and the scripture says if He put us together, nothing and no one can break us up.
Right???
Things happen. Life happens. Time marches on and circumstances occur. Babies, wrinkles, muffin tops, bald spots... and that's just on the surface. People change on the inside in the exact same ways that they change on the outside. There has to be change in the world. It just does. But the trick is to grow together, not apart.

Malachi 2:16

" 'For I hate divorce,'

says the Lord, The God of Israel.

'To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,'

Says the Lord of Heaven's Armies.

'So guard your heart;

Do not be unfaithful to your wife.' "

God doesn't hate too many things. He is the God of love and He is love. But divorce is anti-love.
When you and your husband marry, you are two people that become one under a promise of God. You are still two individuals, but you become one flesh, in heart and body. And because of that promise, or covenant, you are fused together. When you and/or your husband decide that you no longer want to be married, that doesn't change the way God sees your relationship.
So, separation and divorce is the ripping apart of something that God fused together. That's why it hurts and its so hard. You are tearing away from each other.
Its a bitter pill to swallow, and I no that it happens. But my point is, try and do everything you can to not allow the spirit of divorce to squeeze in between you and your husband. Now, I'm not expert, but please allow me to give you a few suggestions on how to keep separation and divorce out of the picture:
1. Keep the lines of communication as open as you can. Talk often and about everything.
2. Don't just talk. Listen. Actually hear what your husband is saying to you. He needs to know that you respect his words and his heart.
3. Date. Spend time together, just having fun and enjoying each other's company.
4. Kiss often. From the smooches down to the real deal. It keeps you hot for each other. Which brings me to...
5. Have sex. Good sex, lots of sex, quick sex, sexy sex, love making. Take advantage of not being able to keep your hands off of each other. This is another way the "2 become 1".
6. Laugh. Laugh at each other and with each other. It is definitely medicine.

Remember, we are trying to be women that please the Lord in every way. If our Father hates divorce, we need to avoid it at all costs. Say yes to love, marriage and your husband. But to divorce...
Just say no...