So we're talking about things that we can do to maintain a good marriage so it will grow and flourish.I have found the secret!
I'm a genius, really. The thing that every marriage has an issue with from time to time. Communication. I have solved the problem. The best way to get the discussion over and done with before the ranting and raving, fussing and fighting begins... You ready???
Shut. Up.
I can see the frown lines developing now. Let me hurry up with these scriptures before you get mad at me.
First, the one that goes with the theme of out lil chat.
1 Peter 3:1-2
"Wives, in the same way submit to your own husbands so that,
if any of them do not believe the Word,
they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
when they see the purity and reverence of their lives."(NIV)
"Fools vent their anger,
but the wise quietly hold it back."(NLT)
See? I don't make this stuff up.
Since we are endeavoring to become wise wives and not fools, there is really no interpretation needed.
The reason that most marriages have communication issues is because (both the husband and wife) allow feelings to take over. Then, when the feelings get hurt, we get angry and want to either defend ourselves, or hurt the person that hurt our feelings. Before you know it somebody you have resorted to talking about somebody's mama.
Oh, maybe that was just my husband and I.
Anyway...
I was the wife that thought, if I said it to him (my husband) enough, he would get the idea and eventually hear me. But after a while, I began to pay attention to him during our we-need-to-talk moments and noticed that, not only was he not hearing me. He wasn't even listening anymore! Yelling, screaming and fussing and cussing didn't work. The louder I got, the more distance I was putting between my husband and our conversations. I was being fool, and if you think about it, you might be the same kind of fool I was.
Sometimes its just best to close our mouths. I'm not just talking about you. Me too. I need to shut it down at some point. I'm not saying stop listening, but sometimes just stop talking. We don't have to vent every feeling or every thought. Its not necessary to share every single emotion and care. You know why, because men don't operate that way. When you share things with them, they are going to try to solve the problem. You want to talk, he wants to help. Two different things.
Just as in our regular lives, people are watching what we do. What we say is cool, but how we live our lives is more important. As on the outside, also on the inside. Your husband likes to be told how much you love him, but he would much more rather be shown. If we keep talking and talking and talking the hubbies will eventually stop listening. Its our integrity character and actions that show who and what we really are. We won our husbands heart by what we did. After the "I do" is no different. What we are doing is winning our husbands hearts everyday. Some days may be better than others, but recovering from our mistakes is important. Consistent behavior shows what we are really made of. So, last week, there may have been a slip up. But the days after that aren't about verbal recovery; its about letting our men see us.
We may sometimes misspeak, misstep or overreact. But what you should be doing is letting your light be your life...
Oh, maybe that was just my husband and I.
Anyway...
I was the wife that thought, if I said it to him (my husband) enough, he would get the idea and eventually hear me. But after a while, I began to pay attention to him during our we-need-to-talk moments and noticed that, not only was he not hearing me. He wasn't even listening anymore! Yelling, screaming and fussing and cussing didn't work. The louder I got, the more distance I was putting between my husband and our conversations. I was being fool, and if you think about it, you might be the same kind of fool I was.
Sometimes its just best to close our mouths. I'm not just talking about you. Me too. I need to shut it down at some point. I'm not saying stop listening, but sometimes just stop talking. We don't have to vent every feeling or every thought. Its not necessary to share every single emotion and care. You know why, because men don't operate that way. When you share things with them, they are going to try to solve the problem. You want to talk, he wants to help. Two different things.
Just as in our regular lives, people are watching what we do. What we say is cool, but how we live our lives is more important. As on the outside, also on the inside. Your husband likes to be told how much you love him, but he would much more rather be shown. If we keep talking and talking and talking the hubbies will eventually stop listening. Its our integrity character and actions that show who and what we really are. We won our husbands heart by what we did. After the "I do" is no different. What we are doing is winning our husbands hearts everyday. Some days may be better than others, but recovering from our mistakes is important. Consistent behavior shows what we are really made of. So, last week, there may have been a slip up. But the days after that aren't about verbal recovery; its about letting our men see us.
We may sometimes misspeak, misstep or overreact. But what you should be doing is letting your light be your life...
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