Stay On Target...

Have you ever heard the phrase "Pick your battles"? I think we as wives have the opportunity to be the best at this particular task. Not just because we have so much going on that we have to prioritize everything and put everything into its category and to-do list. We have the opportunity to show our husbands unconditional love.

What does this have to do with picking my battles, you might ask? It has everything to do with it!

I've noticed that in my marriage, during the most rocky times, my feelings may have been hurt, which caused me to build my trusty wall around my heart against my husband. However, when I built that wall, he couldn't get in, and also my love for him couldn't get out.

God has called all of us to show unconditional love to each other. We can't truly serve Him unless we do.  And if we can't serve Him our marriages won't prosper the way that we want them to.

Galatians 5:14

For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (NLT) 

 1 Corinthians 13:3

"No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." (MSG)

When my husband would say and do things that I thought was inappropriate, whether they really were or not, that would hurts feelings. When my feelings got hurt, I would build that wall up to protect my feelings. But when we do things like that, the wall actually holds those hurt feelings inside. They never get a chance to be released. That turns into unforgiveness and unforgiveness turns into bitterness and then it can get realA ugly. 

Hebrews 12:15

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (NIV)

My husband told me I was bitter once. After I got over the initial shock and rage that he would dare refer to me, the good Christian woman, as bitter, I realized that he was right. I had allowed all of the hurt that I had hidden behind my wall to grow roots and sprout weeds that grew into trees and, before I know it, not only did I have a wall. I had a wall with a most and a forest behind into. No one was getting in and nothing was going out.

I knew that I had to decide what was important to me, and I had to take my husband out of the equation. This was between me and God. I wasn't pleasing Him with my acts in other areas because I wasn't showing love, which is what God is all about. I could laugh and joke around with everyone else, but was bitter toward my husband. It couldn't be like that with me and it can't be like that with you.

Don't grow a forest like I did. I'm still trying to tear all those trees down and dig up all of those roots. Think about what's more important to you: holding that grudge, or forgiving your husband for hurting you, and moving on and walking in love. You have a choice to make, missy...

What's more important?

He's Not Him...

Reality shows have become my guilty pleasure. One new show has come out that features many of my favorite female R&B singers and I have become instantly intrigued. The behind-the-scenes lives of famous people has always interested me. One performer's life has been especially interesting to me because of the way that she interacted with her husband. On the show, they always appear together. Always. The other cast members are married, and their husbands make appearances in passing sometimes, but this man is always with his wife. No matter where they are or what's going on, her husband is always with her. Always. Upon further investigation, the singer revealed that she feels as though if her husband isn't with her, he must be unfaithful. So instead of risking infidelity, she keeps him close. Just in case. Always.
Because of what the last man did. 
*sigh*
Can I stress this point enough? You're husband is not the last man. If the last man beat you down, physically mentally or both, and you left him, that's the past. Let that sleeping dog lie, cheat, steal, whatever. Just let him stay in the past where you left him. You moved on and you're remarried. Its my prayer that the husband that you have now is nothing like the last man and he's adding to your life. You are a whole woman, you don't need anyone to complete you. That was the mistake that you made with the last man, and that's why it didn't work. You're different now; a new you.

2 Corinthians 5:17 
"This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun."(NLT) 

Don't make your husband suffer because of what the last man did. Not only is the last man in the past, but the woman you were when you were with him has passed as well. You're different now because you're in Christ. You have given your life freely to God, been made over, and are making your life with a fantabulous man that loves you and treats you well. Why make him suffer because of the last man's sins?
Girl, let it go. That joker that hurt you so bad, your body, emotions, credit, finances... 
You thought he had ruined your life, but he didn't.
You thought that you couldn't survive without him, but you are.
You thought you would never feel better, but you do.
You thought you would never find love again, but you did. And he's amazing. And he loves you.

You're still standing and your husband isn't him. He's the last man for a reason. Focus on the man that you have now. He's not him.