As unto the Lord...

Being a wife is not for the selfish, or for the soft-hearted. It is indeed a wonderful experience. You learn a lot about men, about life, about yourself. Marriage can mature you from a naive girl to a mature woman.

But it can also make you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Being a helpmeet isn't an easy job. Caring for someone regardless to how you feel at the time is strenuous and time consuming and selfless. Most times there is little to no room for self in your marriage. At least not in my house.

6 children, 4 of whom will eat what I make, 1 baby and a son that will only eat sandwiches and a husband that expects a gourmet meal, a spotless house and orderly children upon his arrival home from work. After making plates, cleaning up, giving baths and getting all children to bed, I take a shower and get ready to spend time with my husband.... Whose fallen asleep... *sigh*

There is nothing self-centered about my life.

Sometimes you can get so wrapped up in doing things for everyone else you begin to feel neglected and taken for granted. Everyone calling for me, asking for things, needing something... No one ever gives me anything. And just when I'm ready to give up, scream and walk away for a while, this is what I hear:

"As unto the Lord..."

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
 (Colossians 3:17 NIV)

Everything we do for our families, our husbands, our lives in general should be done with to the glory of God. It's so easy to do things for your husband begrudgingly. Well, at least for me it is. I wake up every morning, get my husband up for work, my daughter up for school, the other kids dressed, fed and entertained all day, house cleaned, dinner made, homework done, kids fed, bathed and bedded, house cleaned again....
 Did I take a shower today? I think I brushed my teeth.

No matter how much I have on my plate, I'm trying hard not to do any of it with a bad attitude, because that wouldn't be as into my God. He loves a cheerful giver...
"So let each one  give  as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver."
 (2 Corinthians 9:7 NKJV).
I know that you have heard this in church, but it means so much than giving liberally in your tithes and offering. Whether you give of your money, time, energy, love or however else you give of yourself, it means nothing to the Lord if you do it with an attitude. Cheerful is the word of the day.

So when your husband asks you to make him third plate and you haven't even eaten once today? Smile and say "okay". He loves your cooking.
When he asks you to find his lucky socks in the morning, say "sure". He's going to work to provide a good life for you too, not just himself.
When you finally get to lay down and he asks you to go get him a bottle of water... Well, you might not be able to actually say anything. But go do it anyway. And on your way to the kitchen and back from the kitchen, send a few phrases of praise to the Father for your husband.
Remember, God gave him to you and you to him. Be grateful for your gift.

You're a Woman... Think Like One!!!

There has been a steady pattern of relationship books on the market over the past couple of decades. It's seems as though the trend started with men and women being from different planets, and it has progressed to women having to think like men in order to have the type of relationships that they want.

This fad has done absolutely nothing but get the authors of the books rich, and the women who read them broke and lonely.

Maybe that was a little harsh. My bad...

The reality is, if you are a woman, you need to think like a woman. And not only are you a woman; you're a wife. Concentrating on what your husband is thinking and trying to get him to do things that you want him to do that way is nothing but manipulation at its best, or worst, depending on how you look at it. Manipulation is not of God. it's not  positive relationship tactic. It's ridiculous.

But it did produce a good movie.

As I always say, if you want to learn how to be the wife that you want the best person to consult is the third fold of the cord that binds you and your husband together.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." (1 John 4:7, 8 NIV)

God is love. He is the first example that we have of love, and He is the One who shows us how to love.

The books that are being mass produced these days are based on a gross generalization. They are based on what people think men think. Just like every woman is different, it is equally the same for men. Men have been given a bad reputation. They have been labeled as animals, dogs more specifically. Dogs are scavengers; they sniff out what they want and scratch around until they can get it.

A man is not a dog; he's a man.

He's not a planet or a fruit or a mineral or a wild animal.

He's a man.

And keeping with this same discovery, he was made in the image and likeness of our Father God (Genesis 1:26). Your husband was designed after God, and deserves to be treated as such. He's not someone that should be manipulated or tricked into doing what you think you want him to do. He is better than that and so are you! Would you want your husband reading a book to tell him how to MAKE you the wife that HE wants?

 Of course not!

God designed your husband the way he is and God gifted you to him as a wife. A helpmeet and companion; not a Jezebel. You are the woman to pray for him and do what you can to help him be the best him he can be. Not to change him and trick him into being your puppet.

Let's all remember this a good marriage relationship, or any relationship for that matter, isn't one that is based on lies, games and manipulation. A good relationship is built on a Godly foundation, with a Christ-like attitude and unconditional love. A no-matter-what kind of love.  

You don't have to think like a man. You have a man that thinks like a man already. 2 men in your relationship is a whole 'nother conversation. Embrace the woman that you are!

Sooo, Miss Lady, put that book down! Give it back to whomever gave it to you. It's no good. You're a woman not man. You are meant to think like a woman.... So think like one!!!